JEFF LAITY

Last nights’ Indian food resulted in stomach pains and strange dreams.

I dreamt I was in Aspen, Colorado, impersonating Alec Baldwin. Somehow I had ended up with his jacket with the sunglasses in the pocket, and when I put these on everyone thought I was him. I had his girlfriend fooled, his manager, shop owners, etc. I was in a used camera store when I started to have a nervous breakdown. The pressure of being found out was too much, so I walked out of the store. I began taking off the gloves and jacket as I walked in the snow and I began to feel better.

After this I was in the back of a jeep filled with Charlies Angels, year 2000 edition. They were setting bombs around Imelda Marcos’ compound. We escaped by climbing over a wall. I think one of them ended up in a bathtub, but no shenannigans transpired. I am incapable of any dreams with more than a PG-13 rating.